Girls On The Gridiron

So I had my bridal shower yesterday. I am exhausted today.

It was really nice, but it’s a slightly surreal experience. I was trying to strike the balance between socializing with everyone and just relaxing, but there was more socializing than anything else.

Which is all good. I was really touched by the people who came and I can’t believe the number of gifts I got. It was over the top.

It’s strange for me. I definitely have a bit of the middle child syndrome where I spent most of my childhood feeling like it was my job to keep out of the way while everyone else had their crisis. So if I wasn’t trying to fix what was broken, I was out of the way. Especially with a single mom with three jobs. I always felt it had to be a huge deal to bother anyone with it.

So as a result, I love public speaking because I have a captive audience that will listen to me for a set amount of time. I also love sports, because it’s action and you can perform and people can yell and scream your name in approval or disgust. But even then, it’s a new moment and you have to react to your situation, so their reaction becomes part of your total experience and is visceral, coursing through your body.

Despite those moments in the spotlight, the bridal shower was strange. I was the focus of attention. I wasn’t performing, I wasn’t winning or losing, I was sitting there opening presents. No objective action to be evaluated, just me opening my presents. I can’t imagine what a wedding with 5 times the number of people will feel like.

So yea, I guess I don’t like it. I don’t like being the focus unless I am playing, moving or adding information. Just sitting there was bizarre.

This probably doesn’t make too much sense to anyone outside my head…=)

But overall, I was really happy to see everyone. I think people mixed well, even though people cliqued off. Though there were some who were excellent at socializing with everyone. My mom got on with my step-mom, two of my main sets of friends really liked each other and everyone else seemed okay. I think it bodes well for the wedding.

As for the wedding, what am I worried about? His family and my family getting along. Incorporating my half-brother’s half-sisters. Figuring out how to make my step-sister, step-mother and half-sister feel comfortable. Hoping I don’t even notice my father isn’t there. The reaction of any conservative folk to my friends and family’s gay partners. (Though if I hear anything disparaging from anyone, even in jest, I’m throwing them out myself. ) And everyone having a good time.

But after yesterday, I think it will be okay.

Probably not going to buy the house. My poor mom. She wanted to buy me a house, but man, can she not afford it to go in on it with us. Moms are cute. But really, she had nooooo grip on her finances. It literally took me a month and all of last night to explain to her timing of payments, cost of carrying, etc……

It makes me wonder where my almost fanaticism about my own finances comes from. I guess some kids rebel through rock and roll and I rebelled through good fiscal habits. Go figure.

Makes sense though. When I lived at home, I was always asking her to turn the music down. I mean really, how many times could YOU blast purple rain?

I love reality tv. I do. It sucks me in and keeps me there, nestled in its warm, caring arms…

Where was I? Oh yea. One of my favorite shows in the whole world is accepting applications from families of four. So I’ve coerced, I mean convinced, my fiance, my brother and my future brother in law to apply with me.

They were skeptical. But much like my Martin Bueber paper in which I explicated I and Thou through his contemplation of a tree, our three minute skit flowed through my brain and out of my mouth.

Apparently, it was quirky, or ridiculous enough, to convince them to sign on. We shoot it next Sunday.

Game shows and I go a long way back, all the way to my Make The Grade appearance when I was 12. Since then, I’ve unsuccessfully tried out for Boot Camp and The Weakest Link. (Goodbye!) I am still obsessed with trying to get onto WWE’s Tough Enough.

But this? This has more potential. =)

At the very least, it’ll be a good bonding moment. And provide the three men with a common point, and a common reference, to mock me over in the future. Because hey, isn’t that what it’s all really about anyway?=)

The scene..

Saturday, at 11:30 AM…just woke up, still groggy.

Flip on mtv…

Start watching Nick & Jessica….

Time warps….

It’s now 1:30…

And I feel numb…..

I force myself to change the channel…

Resist temptation to return…

So hard…so very hard…..

Fade Out…..

Wow, the title from this article says it all….

As well as this paragraph:
“These pockets of resistance*have proved heartening to the kids in the episode. Understandably, they were crushed on learning that, among everyone visited by “Postcards from Buster,” they were singled out by a federal official as unfit for the nation to see. What a cruel lesson from the country’s education czar and those who support her: Out of sight, out of mind.”

*ie, people without their heads up their ass