Girls On The Gridiron

Saw the Longest Yard…

Movie sooo good…it had football, hard tackes, flying tackles, and more tackles.

And Adam Sandler….

soooo gooood…..so nice to spend an afternoon watching and hearing football…

mmmm……

I just finished watching one of the finest Star Trek The Next Generation episodes ever produced, called “Darmok.” It brought me to tears the first time I watched it and it did again today. It is of the caliber of episode of “Sins of the Father” and “I Borg.”

I can not justly describe the episode. It is worth renting and is an incredible episode if you get the chance to see it.

In this episode, Picard is beamed down to a planet against his will with an alien whose language Picard does not speak. The alien is armed, but drops his weapons. The alien begins to speak to Picard, repeating the same set of phrases over and over again.

Picard patiently tries to speak with the alien. It becomes clearer and clearer that the alien speaks in parables, and Picard starts to speak back. They are attacked by a beast and the alien begins to die.

What moves me to tears is the elegance, patience, understanding, curiosity and friendliness with which Picard tries to relate to the alien. From the beginning he refuses to fight, even though weapons are present. Picard wants to understand. He tries to understand, with all of his heart.

The alien sacrifices his life to open up the lines of communication between the two species. As he lay dying, Picard relates the story of Gilgamesh and Enkidu and their battle and friendship.

Picard returns to his ship and is able to talk to the alien’s ship where all others have failed. Using the alien language, he tells them of his battle with the beast and of their leader’s heroic death. The episode ends in a rare moment, where Picard holds the alien’s dagger, performs the alien’s mourning ritual and looks off into space, honoring the alien. As the camera pulls back, Picard is at his viewport, alone as the stars of space streak silently by.

I could only wish that our leaders of today had the same nobleness of heart as the Enterprise’s captain, the same openness for other cultures and the same love of humanity. There was a time where I assumed that the Picard of that episode would be just like the leaders of my future. I do not make that assumption anymore.

I’ve been giving a fair amount of thought lately to what constitutes success. And how it is or isn’t synonymous with happiness.

I’m in a peculiar place in my life. Since I can remember, I’ve worked my ass off to achieve a goal. When I was in grammar school, it was to get into a good high school. When it was in high school, it was to get out of Queens and go to a good college. When it was college, it was to go to grad school. In grad school, it was to get a good job.

In the time since getting the job, I’ve played a professional sport, bought my first house and gotten married. Along the way, ever since college I have juggled multiple commitments. First school, work and sports, then work and sports, then work and house buying/wedding planning.

But now? Just work.

Theoretically, I should now be able to look at my life. Say “ahh, good job, you’ve arrived.” But I’ve felt a level of emptiness that I haven’t had in years. There is a void in my life now.

But I am hesitant to fill it with just another activity, commitment or plan. I see that there is a need in me to be busy all of the time. I can not yet decide if that is an inborn trait, a sign of intellectual need, or points to a basic, yearning lack of satisfaction that I have with myself and my life.

So I am taking this one slow. Much slower than I thought. I come home now, with no real plan. I clean, or I work out, or we do something together. There is no schedule, and no insane calendar of commitments.

I’m trying to teach myself to appreciate these moments of quiet. I’m trying to teach myself to be more attentive to what is going on in work and to try to learn. I am trying to teach myself how to just go for long walks, or talk or watch a movie.

And it’s hard. I don’t now how to do these things and be satisfied with that moment. I really don’t.

My beloved is trying to help me. Poor him.

This probably sounds nonsensical and ridiculous, but it really has been a struggle over this past month. I’m trying to learn to be a person, instead of a series of activities or a set of accomplishments and attributes. I realized I have no idea what I am doing, since I still have this overriding sense of dis-ease and fear of turning into a failure…

But I’m trying, even if I feel like I’m doing a crappy job of it….

Oh, the government would have a ball with some of the courses from Sarah Lawrence…

Is this man on a mission to stick his nose into every part of the middle east?

I am not as well informed on this topic as my husband, but giving 50 million dollars to a country that has been engaged in a decades long struggle against a democratic government doesn’t seem to be the smartest move to me…It just doesn’t….granted, I am not taking sides on this debate, of who did what to who when, or who has the right to be there and I am not touching the topic of the holy land, but come on. 50 million dollars?

It just doesn’t seem right. This peace plan is brand new. What do we know of its effectiveness? Also, he’s giving the money to help settle one of the most hotly disputed strips of land since the second half of the twentieth century….

Also, you know why I’m really unhappy? Because I think our involvement there will lead to further actions against our country, both abroad and at home. I may be getting paranoid in my old age, but I just wish the US would get its act together and take care of issues at home.

Or, there are other countries that need the money.

My favorite part of this article, for so many reasons is:
“”The idea of people expressing themselves in opposition in government, then getting a beating is not our view of how a democracy ought to work,” Mr. Bush said. “It’s not the way that you have free elections. People ought to be allowed to express themselves, and I’m hopeful that the president will have open elections that everybody can have trust in.”"

Nah, we just arrest them. And then we drop the case, because oh yea, you are allowed freedom of speech. Oops…..

And hey, do you think they can teach us about those “open elections that everybody can have trust in.” Because last I checked, my current president was decided by Iowa. And Florida…

Man, one day, I’m going to stop ranting.